Texans in Hell
A
group of Texans are driving down the road, whooping it up,
drinking beer and shooting off their guns when they get into
an accident with busload of nuns and orphans, killing everyone.
The Texans go straight to Hell. When they arrive the Devil
is shocked to see that they are not in agony over the heat
and he demands an explanation.
"Well, sir, we're from Texas, and we're used to
the heat," says one. This infuriates the Devil and he cranks the thermostat
up to its highest setting. The lost souls all over hell start wailing. "I'll
check on them in the morning and see how they like THIS." He snorts and
disappears in a ball of fire.
The next morning, the Devil shows up at the Texans'
camp site, and sure enough they are showing some signs of discomfort. They have
taken off their 10 Gallon hats and are fanning themselves. One has even rolled
up his sleeves. "Well, sir," explains a Texan, "when you have
been on a cattle drive in Lubbock during August, this ain't hardly nothing." The
Devil is now so angry he is seeing red.
"Those damn Texans seem immune to heat, let 's see what happens when I turn
OFF the heat," he says as he heads to the thermostat. "I'll check on
them tomorrow."
So in the morning the Devil arrives at the Texans' campsite,
and they are all whoopin' and hollerin' and drinkin' the beers from the ice chest
in the back of the pick up, now that they have ice to chill them with. The wail
of the lost souls is deafening but the Texans are partyin' like there is no tomorrow.
"I don't get it," the Devil says, completely
defeated. "I tried to roast you and it had no effect, and then I tried to
freeze you and you are partying. You Texans are made of tough stuff. But why
are you celebrating?"
A Texan takes a swig from a Bud in a longneck and replies, "Look
around! Hell is frozen over. That's just gotta mean there is another Bush in
the White House."
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