Bumper Stickers for the Politically Incorrect

Constipated People Don't Give A Crap

Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself

If You Drink Don't Park, Accidents Cause People

Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point

If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better

My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant

Thank You For Pot Smoking

To All You Virgins Thanks For Nothing

If At First You Don't Succeed...blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling

Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings"

If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer

Horn Broken... Watch For Finger

It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger

If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass

You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me

The Earth Is Full - Go Home

I Have The Body Of A God... Buddha

This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me

So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time

Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult

If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?

The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name

Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway

Illiterate? Write For Help

Honk If Anything Falls Off

Cover Me I'm Changing Lanes

He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit

I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person

You! Out Of The Gene Pool!

I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To

Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket?

It's Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now

I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere

If You Can Read This, The Bitch Fell Off...[Seen On The Back Of A Biker's Vest]

If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It the Wrong WAY!...

Fight Crime: Shoot Back!

If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over...[Seen Upside Down, On A Jeep]

Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed For 70mph.

Guys: No Shirt, No Service Gals: No Shirt, No Charge [Reported To Be Seen On A Restaurant]

If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?

Necrophillia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One.

Ax Me About Ebonics

Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel

Boldly Going Nowhere

Cat: The Other White Meat

Caution - Driver Legally Blonde!

Don't Be Sexist - Broads Hate That

Heart Attacks... God's Revenge For Eating His Little Animal Friends

Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window

How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost?

If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.

Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch

Saw It... Wanted It... Had A Fit... Got It!

Warning! Driver Only Carries $20.00 In Ammunition

What Has Four Legs And An Arm? A Happy Pit Bull

PETA - People Eating Tasty Animals

If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!

Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole

100,000 sperm and YOU were the fastest?

You are depriving some poor village of its IDIOT

Save Your Breath ... You'll need it to blow up your date!

My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom

Grow your own dope, plant a man

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.

Out of my mind...Back in five minutes.

Hang up and drive.

Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.

Try not to let your mind wander. It is too small to be out by itself.

The proctologist called, they found your head.

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

Just because your head is pointed, doesn't mean you're sharp.

Why am I the only person on earth who knows how to drive?

Some people just don't know how to drive. I call these people "Everybody But Me."

Don't like my driving? Then quit watching me.

Your gene pool needs a little chlorine.

You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!

DON'T PISS ME OFF! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES.

Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.

All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets

BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.

So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute.

I need someone really bad...Are you really bad?

All men are idiots....I married their king.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.

Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

Where there's a will...I want to be on it.

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

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