40 Ways to Describe an Idiot

1. A few fries short of a happy meal.

2. The wheel is spinning but the hamster is dead.

3. A few bricks shy of a full load.

4. Couldn't pour water out of a boot with the instructions on the heel.

5. Fell out of the stupid tree and hit all of the branches on the way down.

6. Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.

7. Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair.

8. Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.

9. Forgot to pay his brain bill.

10. A few clowns short of a circus.

11. If he had another brain it would be lonely.

12. Too much yardage between the goal posts.

13. An expirement in Artificial Stupidity.

14. A few beers short of a six-pack.

15. Dumber than a box of hair.

16. A few peas short of a casserole.

17. Doesn't have all his corn flakes in one bowl.

18. One fruit loop shy of a full bowl.

19. One taco short of a combination plate.

20. A few feathers short of a whole duck.

21. All foam no beer.

22. The cheese slid off of his cracker.

23. Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.

24. Has an IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt.

25. Warning: objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.

26. An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.

27. As smart as bait.

28. Chimney's clogged.

29. Her sewing machine is out of thread.

30. His antenna doesn't get all of the channels.

31. Missing a few buttons on the remote control.

32. No grain in the silo.

33. Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.

34. His belt doesn't go through all the loops.

35. Receiver is off the hook.

36. Several nuts short of a full pouch.

37. Skylight leaks a little.

38. Slinky's kinked.

39. Surfing in Nebraska.

40. In the pinball game of life, his flippers are a little too far apart.

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