Confucius Says...

Woman who goes to man's apartment for snack, gets titbit.

Man who lay woman on ground, get peace on earth.

Man who gets kicked in testicles, left holding the bag.

Man who kisses girl's behind, gets crack in face.

Passionate kiss like spider web--lead to undoing of fly.

Man with holes in pocket, feels cocky all day.

Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night.

Virginity like balloon--one prick, all gone.

Girls who rides bicycle, peddles ass all over town.

Baseball all wrong--man with four balls can't walk.

Man who live in glass house, dress in basement.

Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing.

Man with penis in peanut butter is fucking nuts.

Man who walk through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok.

Man who drop watch in toilet, bound to have shitty time.

Man who take lady on camping trip, have one intent.

Man who go to bed with sex on mind wake up with solution in hand.

Woman who cooks beans and peas in same pot very unsanitary.

Baseball very funny game--man with 4 balls no can walk!!

Woman who dance while wearing jock strap have make believe ballroom.

Woman who fly plane upside down have crackup.

Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day.

Secretary not permanent, till screwed on desk.

A girl's best asset is her 'lie' ability.

Support bacteria -- it's the only culture some people have!

Man who argue with wife all day get no peace at night.

Man who run behind car get exhausted.

Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with smelly finger.

Baby conceived on back seat of car with automatic transmission grow up to be shiftless bastard.

Boy who go to bed with sex problem wake up with solution in hand.

Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing.

Man with athletic finger make broad jump.

He who fishes in another man's well often catches crab.

Man who speaks with forked tongue should not kiss balloons.

Man who lose key to apartment not get new key.

He who sitteth on an upturned tack shall surely rise.

Even the greatest of whales is helpless in middle of desert.

Wash your face in the morning, neck at night.

He who eats too many prunes, sits on toilet many moons.

Elevator smell different to midget.

Man who lay woman on ground have piece on earth.

"Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time."

"Man trapped in pantry have ass in jam."

"Virgin like balloon . . . one prick, all gone."

"Baseball wrong . . . man with four balls cannot walk!"

"Work to become, not to acquire."

"Baby conceived in automatic car shiftless bastard."

"A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose."

"Find old man in dark, not hard!"

"Man who smoke pot choke on handle."

"Ok for shit to happen . . . will decompose."

"Man who put head on Rail Road track to listen for train likely to end up with splitting headache."

"Sailor who gets discharged from navy leave buddies behind."

"Secretary becomes permanent fixture when screwed on desk."

"Don't drink and park, accidents cause people."

"He who crosses the ocean twice without washing is a dirty double crosser."

"Man who tell one to many light bulb jokes soon burn out!"

"It takes many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it."

"Never raise hands to angry child, it leave groin exposed."

"Woman who cooks carrots and peas in same pot is unsanitary."

"Man who eat many prunes, sit on toilet many moons."

"Confucius say too God damn much!"

"Those who quote me are fools."

"Man who drive like hell bound to get there!"

"Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants!"

"Man who stand on toilet is high on pot!"

"Man who sit on tack get point!"

"Man who runs behind car gets exhausted!"

"Man who jump off cliff jump to conclusion!"

"War not determine who's right, war determines who's left."

Man who lay girl on hill not on level.

He who fishes in another man's well often catches crab.

Wife who put man in dog house find him in cat house.

Man who farts in church sits alone in pew.

Boy who go to bed with sex problem wake up with solution in hand.

Woman who cooks carrots and peas in same pot very unsanitary.

Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing.

Man who marries a girl with no bust has right to feel low down.

Man with athletic finger make broad jump.

Squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts.

Seven days on honeymoon make one hole weak.

Modern house without toilet uncanny.

Woman who springs on inner-spring this spring, gets off-spring next spring

Nail on board is not good as screw on bench.

Short man who dance with tall woman get bust in mouth

Man who lay woman on ground has peace on earth.

Man who sleep on railroad tracks wake up with split personality.

Baseball very strange game. How can man with 4 balls walk?

Woman who go to man's apartment for snack may get tit bit.

Man who kisses girl's behind, gets crack in face.

Woman who spends much time on bedspring, may have offspring.

Passionate kiss like spider web: lead to undoing of fly.

Man and mouse alike, both end up in pussy.

Man who get kicked in testicles left holding bag.

Man who sucks nipples make clean breast of things.

Man who fights with wife all day, gets no peace at night.

Man who snatches kisses when young, kisses snatches when old.

Wife who slides down bannister makes monkey shine.

Virginity like balloon, one prick and it is all gone.

Girl who douches with vinegar walk around with sour puss.

Woman who flies upside-down have crack up.

He who sneezes without a handkerchief takes matters into his own hands.

Man who have head up ass, have shitty outlook on life.

Man who have hand in pocket not just jingling change.

A streaker is someone who is unsuited for his work.

He who make oral love to epileptic woman may get tongue-tied.

He who make love to exhaust pipe of car have hot rod.

Eplileptic woman who give blow-job may bite big one.

Sleepy man who stand behind car get exhausted.

Sleepy man who stand in front of car get tired.

Man who go to bed with itchy ass, wakes up with smelly fingaz.

Man who stand on toilet, must be high on pot.

Man who have hand in pockets, not crazy, just feeling nuts.

Man who run in front of car get tired.

Man who run behind car get exhausted.

Two wrongs not make a right - Three lefts do.

Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man give wife upright organ.

Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

Man with one chopstick go hungry.

Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails.

Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it.

War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.

Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.

Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night!

Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out!

t takes many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.

Man who drive like hell, bound to get there!

Man who stand on toilet is high on pot!

Man who lives in glass house should change in basement.

Man who farts in church sits in own pew.

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